JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,. “But I wanted to let you know that I made time to take a peek at that last chapter. It was REALLY therapeutic, if you know what I mean.”“Glad to hear that it hit the spot,” he grinned proudly. “Truth is ... I got pretty worked up writing it, so now I’ve got a bad case of “sticky keyboard,” he laughed.“I completely understand,” I replied. “One thing I noticed, though, was that you left poor Charlie completely hanging at the end of it ... All worked up with no mention of release. What kind of second-rate erotic author would do that?!”“Whoa, seems like I touched a nerve there, eh. Sorry about that, chief. Guess I just got carried away. I can always rewrite that final part with a killer release scene for you. Which would you prefer ... dropping your wad all over your computer screen, or a nearby picture of your beloved mother?” he joked.“Naw, that’s alright, old man,” I relented. “Let’s just leave it as is and hope the reader doesn’t mind that GLARING deficiency too much. Besides, I wipe.
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